Doesn't That Itch?
by Ereluna
Summary: ON HAITUS. With that last thought, Sesshomaru jumps to his feet, and stares with reddened eyes at the offensive fuzzy/furry woodland squirrel... // Inu-centric, Sess-centric, No pairings
1. Inbreeding

Alright, I've written -in the far distant past- a little list of differences and such between Dog Demons and well, dogs. Recently, I've decided to delete it in favor of creating a new and improved version, where you actually get to read my examples of what I think it would be like to see the differences or... non-differences between a Dog Demon and a dog. So, hehe. Here it is... I think there will be eleven or twelve of these... depending on whether I think of more or not. Okay, later! 

These will be REALLY short. As I have alot of distractions and not alot of time. 100 words even:) Review!

Basic Disclaimer applies.

**Doesn't That Itch?**  
_Topic One:  
__A dog's family tree doesn't fork?_

_IN WHICH WE FIND SESSHY IS HIS OWN UNCLE_

* * *

"Keh, Sesshomaru, didn't you ever wonder _why_ you have three nipples?" Inuyasha's ears flick curiously, his eyes _locked_ onto said oddity poking so evidently from his elder brother's chest. 

Sesshomaru's golden gaze narrows, irritation _pouring_ from his being. After all, _who_ was his hanyou half-sibling to _question_ this extra **gift** from his father/mother... whoever? A quiet growl escapes him. "_Quiet._"

Ignoring the suspicious hissing sound coming from the taiyoukai, Inuyasha pokes it _again_. "Well, _all_ _mighty_ _bastard_, **this** is what happens when your mother is your grandmother too."

Inuyasha doesn't see the fist on a collision course with his face.

* * *

So? 


	2. In Public?

Yeah, it took TOO long! Well, here's number two (pun!) Hahaha, 175 words. Sorry, folks, Inuyasha isn't in this one. But, I assure you, he will be in the next one. Enjoy!

**Doesn't That Itch?  
**_Topic Two:  
__What does a dog do when it's gotta go?_

_IN WHICH SESSHOMARU CANNOT HOLD IT_

* * *

_This Sesshomaru can hold it._ Aforementioned great taiyoukai tells himself, all the while his golden gaze carefully scanning the bushes he silently passed.

The sound of his stomach gurgling reaches his ears, and Sesshomaru pushes back the sigh that threatens to escape him.

_This Sesshomaru is in perfect control._

"Sesshomaru-sama?" A small voice pipes up, it doesn't grate on his sensitive hearing, so he concludes that it is Rin. "Are you well?"

"I'm fine, Rin." Is his automatic response, yet another grumble contests that fact.

At last, Sesshomaru finally caves, departing for the tree-line without a word.

He kneels before a large tree, divesting himself of his hakama, and promptly relieving his bowels.

Sesshomaru senses a familiar presence nearing, and with a small growl he realizes…

_It is too late to stop._

"Sesshomaru-sama!" The toad demon's screech falls on his pointed ears, before a small gasp of surprise. "I- I am s-sorry, milord. M-my deepest ap-apologies!" The small imp falls to the ground.

Unaware of the true extent of the wrath that is awaiting him.

* * *

Har har har. I couldn't resist. The sad thing is, is that I've read some fics that say that Sesshomaru doesn't poop at ALL. Seriously, talk about constipation. :laugh: 


	3. Where Are Thou Water?

Yeah, now it's time to victimize our dear hanyou, Inuyasha. Yes, I realize this one is longer than the rest… but, I feel as if Sesshy deserves a small break. And, I mean small.

I don't own Inuyasha.

This one's 380 words, folks. Enjoy!

**Doesn't That Itch?  
**_Topic Three:  
__What is a waterless dog to do?_

_IN WHICH INUYASHA IS THIRSTY_

* * *

_Ahhhh, so thirsty..._

"Dammit." Inuyasha curses under his breath, while absently scratching at a dry spot on the heel of his bare foot. "Feh, Ka-"

The hanyou's eyes meet with Kagome's sleeping face, a small trail of saliva dripping onto her pillow. _Ad__orable._

_What the hell am I thinking?_

Golden eyes fall to the open window across the small bedroom, following the telephone lines for an undetermined distance.

Inuyasha licks his chapped lips, and attempts to swallow the bile building at the back of his own throat.

Once again cursing silently, he leaves the room, treading down the stairs lightly, unusually careful not to wake the sleeping girl, nor any of her family.

The half-human makes his way to the kitchen, sighing in relief as he reaches the sink, only to feel a small sweatdrop form when he turns the nozzle, and _no_ water flows from the faucet.

_"Sorry, honey, the water's off right now... I'm calling a plumber first thing in the morning."_ Mrs. Higurashi had said apologetically, and then Inuyasha had tuned out Kagome's whimpers of _'I need a shower tomorrow morning!'_

Heading back the way he came, Inuyasha contemplates digging a well in the yard, and decides against it.

_Too much work._

Walking past the bathroom, the hanyou finds himself pausing.

Immediately he shakes his head, as if to clear the idea from his mind before it takes full bloom.

Too late.

Inuyasha hesitantly pushes the door open with one hand, his eyes falling to the porcelain _thing_ that sits imbedded in the floor.

_The thing that holds water._

_No._ He tells himself, but, all the while his bare feet lift and drop, bringing him closer and closer to his unintended destination.

_Awwwwhhh,_ he grimaces, even as he drops to his knees, his head dipping inside the bowl.

His tongue slips from his mouth against his will, and laps at the water.

Yet, even as he is disgusted, he finds his thirst slowly being quenched as he slurps the liquid from the bottom of the small pool.

Inuyasha's eyes snap shut as the overhead light flicks on, and his delicate hearing picks up a small gasp as he resentfully lifts his eyelids to gaze squarely at...

Sota.

The boy chuckles.

He will never _ever_ live this down.

* * *

Oh... the shame. :evil laughter: 


	4. Mine!

**Doesn't That Itch?**  
_Topic Five:  
Mine!_

_IN WHICH SESSHOMARU MARKS HIS TERRIRORY_

"Hold _still_." The Lord of the Western Lands enunciates clearly, not bothering to hold back the slight growl in his voice. "You have _defied_ this Sesshomaru, and allied yourself with the _enemy_."

Aforementioned offender trembles.

"Now, you have come _crawling_ back to this Sesshomaru. You will endure this…" Sesshomaru pauses as he searches his mind for the right word, never truly pulling his attention from untying his obi, and dropping his hakama. "**Reaffirmation.**"

"Sesshomaru-sama!" The offender shrieks, fear overwhelming its voice, yet, still touched by a _hint_ of curiosity.

This does not escape the Taiyoukai, and he resists the urge to shudder.

Marking was _not_ something he enjoyed doing, it was simply necessary. Other demons needed to know what belonged to him, including his retainers and his ward. Therefore, he was obligated to mark them _every_ moon cycle. Of course, he had usually marked them as they slept… but, desperate times called for desperate measures. They needed to know they were his.

Sesshomaru positions himself over the offender, ignoring the gasp that accompanies his movement.

Releasing his bladder upon the poor creature, he allows his eyes to close briefly, feeling the simultaneous relief and satisfaction that comes with _such_ a task.

Soon the shocked gasps of the sullied thing fade, as the urine stops flowing slowly. Sesshomaru then opens his golden eyes to regard the pee drenched Jaken.

"Think twice before you agree with Inuyasha, Jaken, even on something as _'small'_ as Rin's 'appropriate' relocation to a human village."

Jaken falls to his knees, his cap falling from his head. "_Yes_, Milord."

With the matter being concluded, Sesshomaru allows his mind to wander to his ward, and he suddenly remembers he hasn't marked her in a few moons.

"Bring Rin to me."

Jaken scurries away instantly, internally quivering as the realization of his lord's intentions (!) pour over him.

_That poor child.  
_

(!) = Pun Intended! -


	5. Giving Chase

Yeah, yeah… I'm picking on Sesshy. Again. It's just TOO easy, and I can't help it. But, trust me. Inuyasha gets it next time. Scouts honor. But, it won't be so much embarrassment as it will be sheer pain. -

I feel SO bad.

**Doesn't That Itch?**  
_Topic Six:  
Giving Chase_

_IN WHICH SESSHOMARU CHASES A SQUIRREL_

"Squeak. Squeak… Squeak-Squeak!"

Sesshomaru curses the squirrel perched not ten feet above him in an ancient tree for the seventh time. But, not being one to openly display any emotion, Sesshomaru resigns himself to a small growl.

_And yet, the infernal creature does not flee from my presence. _The Taiyoukai finds himself annoyed beyond any and all reason at this latest development, and growls a little louder only to find that the squirrel's beady eyes stare at him, clearly unafraid.

_If this thing 'squeaks' one more time, this Sesshomaru shall end its miserable meaningless existence. Slowly._

"Squeak."

_And painfully._

With that last thought, Sesshomaru jumps to his feet, and stares with reddened eyes at the offensive fuzzy/furry woodland squirrel, then under-calculating his ascent knocks his head loudly against the hardened branch of the tree, splitting it in two.

Then, obviously not expecting the pain of collision, Sesshomaru misses the evil glare that enters the small eyes of the seemingly innocent creature.

Right before it sinks its tiny teeth into the skin of his lone hand.

The Lord of the Western Lands hisses at the –once again- unexpected pain, and instantly places his wounded hand into his mouth in an admittedly childish attempt to dull the pain.

His eyes narrow as the squirrel scampers into the arms of one particular bastard hanyou.

"Heh, Sesshomaru. Did the widdle itty bitty teensie weensie squirrel get you?" Inuyasha asks in mock concern. His youthful features displaying a look of purely malevolent glee.

_This Sesshomaru will kill you one day, Inuyasha. And you will never see it coming._

Sesshomaru resists the nearly irresistible inclination to wring his half-brother's neck as he pets the evil squirrel on the head gently… while murmuring to it appreciatively.

"Awww, poor Sesshy."

A massive tingling/burning sensation sweeps over his wounded hand, before his vision goes black.

**To Be Continued!**


End file.
